我好累，真的

这几天，

都在忙靠试

我家人都说

我疯了

以前，

在开始考试之前

我很少吃东西

胃病，

也是这样来的

几个星期前

还胃痛到  

半夜跑医院

最近

考试到了

我不知为何

总是想吃东西

肚子很快就饿了

但是

当我看见食物时候

就变得没胃口

星期日那天

去到我很喜欢的某间餐厅

我很放肆

很拼命

放下形象

什么都不理的吃

就算吃不下

我还是要逼自己吃

我很拼，

很拼命，

的吃.......

没想到，

才没一下

我开始拉肚子

我的肠胃

就是那么不中用

其实

我每次会怀疑

我的生命到底有多长

有时候

我真的是辛苦到

痛苦到

好像在天堂的门前绕着一样

朋友们，

其实，

你们真的或许不懂我在想什么

你们说

我嘴巴挑，

我挑食，

我麻烦，

我承认。

我还怕，

真的害怕，

我怕有一天

我不能再吃那些好吃的

我不能再像现在那样

跟你们一起玩乐

我怕我有遗憾

你们可以说我想太多

可是人都说，

自己的身体，

自己明白

我不敢奢望

我的将来

有多艰难

有多苦

我

天生的劳碌命

家里每个

都一样

你们都叫我去当

什么美食评论家

自问没资格

如果能够

我真的很希望

我的心愿

只不过

是想吃遍全世界

最好吃的食物

这个心愿

或许很难实现

但是

我还是很期望有那么一天

这几天

考试的压力

真的让我快承受不住了

我好辛苦

好痛苦

不管我多么痛

多么不舒服

我还是逼自己撑下去

两年了

每天都在学校睡觉

玩耍

说真的

我很后悔

现在，

我真的很想放弃

真的好累

那种

完全什么都不懂

所以要在很短的时间比别人更努力

努力好多倍

那种努力

一直在折磨我

没人看得见

完全没有

或许我的个性

让你们觉得我不在乎

其实我真的很在乎

可是没有人

真的没有人愿意帮我

或者应该说

没有人能帮我

我正在努力

我真的很努力

努力得好累

好疲惫。。

昨天，

我在努力的学，

努力的记，

可是我还是不会

我知道

现在不可能了

但是

我还是想拼最后的希望

那种疲惫

真的好痛

身体所承受的痛苦

也好痛

但是没有人

会了解

我现在所承受的

那种

加倍的痛苦

真的没有人。。。

TODAY =)

say a very good morning

to the world =)

TODAY

12/11/2011

is a very special day for me

today

is a very meaningful day

I hope that everything will be alright

I woke up very early in the morning

to text

to think

to..........

everything is just because of

YOU =)

I'm sorry

before this

I might hurt you so much

make you very tired

or cause you suffering

but I didn't even care about you

I always promise something

but I might did not do it

but

YOU

never leave me

=)

I really appreciate to have you

Really.......

thanks for caring me

thanks for everything you do to me

thanks for never angry at me

thanks for let me be

thanks for not blaming me

that I hurt you so much

that I didn't care you so much

but YOU care me so much

Thanks....

I don't know how to express those in words

but really thank you

THANKS =)

往事。。。

9。11。2011

这一天

是我待在学校

的最后一天

这一天，

全班都在闹

全班都很疯

全班都很尽情地玩

我，

却躲在我的座位上

想起过往的点点滴滴

那时，

我害怕了

我怕

不是因为胆小

我怕

不是因为再也回不来

只是

我怕

我会留恋

曾经，

我很潇洒的说

等我毕业了

我一定拍拍屁股走人

但是，

就当在

全班人都在瞎起哄的时候

我开始想起了

那些过往

酸、甜、苦、辣，

我都经历过了

从幼稚，

到叛逆，

到成熟，

到到到。。。。

还记得，

当初，

交了些朋友，

变坏了。

成天逃课，

玩耍，

无所是事。

想起来，

真是幼稚。。

那种好奇心强，

吃饱没事做，

开口闭口都是粗话，

只会学 ‘ 阿莲 ’

真的是丑样！

做在我的位置，

想了好久。

朋友，

一个个的离开

一些都甚至没联络

几可笑！

认识的人多

有联络的却没几个

放学了，

即将要放学了，

看着时间一秒一秒地流失

心开始疼了

一秒一秒地过

心情就越来越低落

到最后。。

*****************

铃。。

铃声响了

我很不舍得的拍下

我的座位

我的朋友们

我的班

我的班门外

还有其他班的朋友

慢慢的离开，

欣赏着，

回想着，

思念着，

到了校门口，

心情无比低落。

我没有自己想象的那么坚强

我没有自己想象的潇洒

想着想着，

心里悄悄得落泪，

那种痛，

真的很少人明白

算了吧！

过去只能成为回忆

我向我的车走去

看着我的学校

慢慢离开

希望还有机会回去 =)

今天

现在

我的心情

简直糟透了

今天下午

我跟一个好朋友聊天

他告诉我关于一个女人的事

我听了

简直只有两个字

“ 佩服 ”

她

是位老师

也是一个完美的女人

据说

她

很坚强

她的丈夫过世了

可是她很感激

认识到她的丈夫

她也不会怨天尤人

也很随和

当别人提起那件事时

她也不介意

这一点

我很佩服

因为对女人来说

丈夫

就是支柱

没了

她还是那么坚强

不在别人面前掉泪

她

喜欢烹饪

她可以煮得一手好菜

还很喜欢做甜点

她

在教课时

都不骂人

当她需要任何帮忙的时候

她还会很贴心的问

“ 你哦给吗 ？ ”

超赞的说

如果我有那么一个老师

我肯定跟她 share 烹饪心得

嘿嘿 ！

她

让我感觉很特别

一个女人

带着一个孩子

还那么开朗

再怎么坚强

我觉得都很难去掩饰

可是她就是那么强

赞！

她

简直算是完美

因为她

我感觉我很差经

我一定要更努力向她学习才行

不是在吹捧

可是的确有那么完美的一个女人

脾气又好

手艺又精湛

知识又不少

贤妻良母

而且还是靠自己赚钱

天！

现在哪里找得到这样的女人？

过后，

妈咪跟爹地吵架

妈咪跑掉

又不知道去哪里

担心

却又联络不到

头大！

没多久

收到消息说

我很疼爱的一只狗狗

刚才不懂为什么

趴下去就上天堂

心好痛

为什么一夜之间

发生那么多事

伤了又伤

痛了又痛

考试又要到了

心情怎么都还是不好

老天！

救救我吧！

现在心情跌到谷底

言语简直没有任何字眼能形容

怎么样都开心不起来

只希望明天会更好吧！

也只能如此了

开心的面对新的一天！

向我的新偶像学习！

我一定要加油

一定要努力！

=)

ANGRY

today nerh

mood not really good lor

last night horr

i heard one of my friend said

another team had won the 3rd prize in the tournament

and yet that team

is not a pro team

im really angry

it's not worth 

and the GM is not fair enough

i really dunno why

they can get the 3rd prize

=.=''

wake up early in the morning

soooooooo

super duper sleepy

but i have to go church

so

i prepared myself

and to go church

while in the service

i heard that got people from other squad

trying to say something not really good

i went their facebook profile

and read

i really get mad of it

they really no manners one

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

i start commenting

shoot here and there

shoot lai shoot ki

at last

dunno what happen

=.=''

tired for the whole day

gonna try a new game

hope i can learn it a.s.a.p.

so i can play with you guys 

^^

that's all for today =)

今天 5/11/11 =)

现在

已经十二点多了

我不知道

发了什么疯

“ KICK ” 来

想写部落格

也许是因为

今天

是个很特别的日子吧！=)

今天

是我那么久以来

除了去学校

第一次

那么早醒来

还没有八点就爬起来

连自己都有点

“ 哇劳，中青惊！” 的感觉

梳洗过后

就等我的一个很神经的好朋友来载我

他到的时候

跟我说

时间还早叻！

叫我去他家学书先

我本来就什么都哦给的

谁叫我还不能驾车嘞？

伤心！

到他家的时候，

他拿了一本制作饼干的书

给我看

看了流口水阿！

因为没吃早餐 >.<

前面头发很长了

想把它夹起来

朋友看了我那副德性

就说要帮我夹

因为我是真的不会夹

虽然最后还是失败了

可是我真的很感动

因为已经很久很久很久

没有人碰我的头发了

他还很贴心帮我夹

超感动的

还补送我生日礼物

就是一本圣经

那是我的第一本

也是唯一一本

过后就赶去 ONE TJ 支持一班朋友

他们参加了SA比赛

不要问什么叫SA

自己去查！！

第一场的时候

朋友们全都好紧张

站着看的，坐着玩的，

全都认真！

我也不懂究竟是谁在玩？

囧

他们真的好强

其中一个朋友

还紧张到发抖

看了他们认真的样子

真的被打动了

赢了第一场

休息了

我跟其中一个跑去开个机

玩L4D

胆小又可爱的他

突然莫名的尖叫

那一瞬间，那一刹那

几乎全场的人

都吃了惊，

盯着他

反而我们赶紧闪开

几下衰一下！

可是最后成了我们的笑柄

第二场

对手是高手中的高手

虽然大家看起来都没什么

但其实

我们自己心里明白

你们是很介意的

老实话一句

你们已经很强了

只是他们对到不是时候

不管你们怎么想

我很享受那个过程

真的很高兴能认识到你们 =)

回的时候

其实我肚子已经超饿！

可是我不开口

因为不想你这个朋友担心

可是最后还是被你妈咪叫去吃饭了

而且好像还被你识破

我的天！！！

团契进行到一半

我的脑海里

还是停留在中午的画面

言语，欢笑，

顿时冲昏了我的大脑

几乎醒不过来

RING．．．

电话响起

原来是你

我吓到一下

怎么那么奇怪

你打来？

原来你闷了

向找人聊天

聊着聊着．．

你一直叫我去吃

早睡

一大堆！

朋友，

谢谢你关心

我不是故意要拒绝你的好意

我不是固执

不要说我固执

因为我不是、也不喜欢

我只是

不想有人担心我

我承受不起

真的抱歉

你的关心，

我心领了

我不是不给面子

而是我自己好面子

可是我现在后悔了

因为现在又冷又饿！

哭

谢谢你那么关心我

因为很久没有人念我了

嘿嘿！

可是　

千万不要对我好

我会习惯

所以我不敢接受你的关心

因为我怕

谁知哪天

你不关心我了

我会很伤

这种伤

我已经体会到

不敢也不像再去体会了

真的很抱歉也谢谢你

还有，

我的嘴巴的确挑食

我承认！

到家了，

一个两个丢下我

学书、睡觉

真讨厌！

还我一个人

寂寞难耐

却又无可奈何

最后嘞，

想说　

朋友们，

那些肉麻的话

我只能写

说不出口

你们就将就吧！

嘻嘻

不管怎样

很高兴认识你们！

明年再加油！

我也会再去支持你们的！

终

TO: the most special one

today, I have been emo the whole day

maybe

recently,

I've been thinking too much

but,

I'm really SORRY

I drop my tears again

I know you don't like it

but I really can't stop myself

If can,

I hope time can go back

when I saw your blog,

I knew that how USELESS am I

I really sorry

If can,

I really wanna find a way

to thank you and say sorry to you

how GUILTY am I right now

I can't stop my tears

Its keep falling

I'm really SORRY

SORRY

SORRY

SORRY

SORRY

SORRY..

I really don't know how

 to express my feeling

right now..

but,

I can say is..

you're really good enough!

don't change yourself anymore

and

it's time for me to change

don't make yourself to hard

I also hope you happy always

really thank you

the time I met you

is the happiest

and

most happiness i get

in my whole life..

these words,

are real and they are from my

TRUE HEART =)

SADDDDDDD ='(

I'm so sad..

Super sad..

guys I'm sorry..

I dunno why,

I couldn't find any transport by now..

guys,

I'm really sorry..

I'm so sad,

this is my first time

I break my promise

I'm really sorry..

Please don't angry me or what..

I'm really sorry..

when I'm serious,

other people was laughing at me

they might say I'm playing a game

I'm childish or what

I don't care

I just wanna do what I promised

but now,

I'm sorry...

I can't make it..

I dunno what happen today,

I couldn't find any transport

I couldn't post things on my blog,

I couldn't do everything...

Is it a bad day for me?

I hope won't..

I don't want to have a BAD DAY !

I'm so tired

but my mind still stay awake

I'm so

sad,

disappointed,

upset....

I apologise to you all,

guys..

I'm sorry I can't make it..

really,

really.

really,

really,

SORRY!

RECALLING BACK MY BIRTHDAY

During the day before my birthday,

him,

he, her, he, and he

they celebrate for me

my gifts are

a frog,

a cake,

and a ticket!

a very special birthday celebration this year

it's only because

you, you, you, you, and you...

I don't mind whatever present you all give

no matter how expensive or cheap,

I DON'T CARE!!!!

because of you guys,

it's special for me this year

it's really special

I don't mind if there's not a gift but only food and wishes,

I don't mind to take normal food

that could get during normal time

I don't mind

I really don't mind

because

it's already meaningful enough

A wholeday celebration

it's nice

special and nice

thank you...

especially

YOU........... <3

LIFE ABOUT ME

Sometimes,

I don't really

get the meaning of the word

LIFE

what is LIFE?

can anyone tell me?

full of sweet, sour, bitter and spicy?

that's what mostly chinese say

Now,

I'm super duper tired and sleepy

I have no idea 

why am I still here but not in my bed

I'm wondering

hmm...

I miss

I miss that person badly

I miss the hug

I miss the shoulder

I need it

I need it badly

I'm watching my friends

having relationship problems

everyday

every minute

every second

I'm scared

what will happen to me 

not in the future that far

but just in the next second?

I'm scare

I decided wanna walk with you

till the end

SO, 

I'm worried

everyday,

every night,

every second,

every minute.....

I worry everything

because 

I just worry about 

YOU

EXCITED

I'm sooooOOO excited!

someone said he's going to bring me 

to go have my favourite

NASI BRIYANI

I love that so much!

is at MUSLIM CAFE 

at 7th mile

it's super

duper

very

too

nice!

I'm now waiting

waiting 

waiting

wating

..

..

..

..

I'm really excited!

I'm waiting for it

I hope 

TIME

pass faster!

so I can eat a.s.a.p.!

BACK TO BLOG

today

I've deided to use my blog again

I saw my friends

they fully used their blog

to share

to memorise

and do everything

I really envy them

cause they know how to play blog

I'm so noob!

I don't know how to play blog 

but

I will try my best

to learn more

guys

I like what you people do to your blogs

I very touch when I saw you guys' blogs

I saw how you people describe me

I saw how you people miss me 

when there is such a long time 

we never meet

I really thank you all

by supporting me always

you guys are really awesome

you guys make me crazy

make me laugh

and make me forget the 'UNHAPPIES'

I really like to be with you guys

I will always be there with you guys

and

I hope

you guys have same opinion with me too!

really thanks a lot 

thanks for everything 

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

sad + angry

today

I feel so disappointed

few of my friends around me

are betraying me

they spot me

but luckily

I am still the winner by now

I am very angry

I never knew that they will do that to me

I am the one who trust them too much

but actually I am not their friends

I work for you guys

I try my only best to help

but the way you guys treat me

I am really disappointed

you guys will receive the kamal

you guys will and I will wait for it

me..

me

recently sleep not well

every night wake up a lot of times

having nightmares

or even some nonsense dreams

what happen to me

having headache

doing stupid things

and missing you

I just want the thing that I feel that I want

I only follow my feelings

do you get it?

I hope you really get it

I miss you a lot

last night when I woke up

I was fully disappointed

you know why?

I think you know that feel

and I hope you know about it

what am I doing?

I really don't know

I hope 

my life get easier and easier

but not harder and harder

I Pray

I close my eyes and pray

friends..?

what are friends...??

are friends only be there if he or she needs you

or just only they have the fun with you

but when you are having troubles they leave you alone?

dear friends..

do you guys remember?

during form 3

when we had to face our PMR

I still try my best to help you guys celebrate birthdays

pictures above...

she is one of my best friends

you had changed

you had really changed

now

you are like this

do you remember

I woke up at 3.00am to cook spaghetti for you as a birthday present?

guys..

do you guys still care about me?

your birthday

her birthday

she birthday

whoever birthday

I did everything nicely for you guys..

what about me?

do you guys still remember me?

I'm so sad..

do you guys know?

I'm sad and disappointed on you all....

我是怎么了？

我到底是怎么了

不懂为什么

火气超级大

也不懂为什么

就是很不开心

我是怎么了

我好累

简直就想离开这个家

可是

如果我这么做

我在家就会变得没地位

现在已经没地位了

我真的好厌烦

我好厌恶

这种感觉

简直就像活在地狱一样

好累，好疲惫

你，

还是那样不懂我的心

可是

也不能怪你

因为甚至有时候，

我都不了解我自己在想什么

我到底在干什么？

今天领了一些考卷

我的分数红到不能再红

我到底在干嘛

我就想失去了方向

失去了自我

我，

到底怎么了。。？

tonight..

its a very bored night

because

we can only chat through phone

by the phone

just by the phone

sigh

I feel so disappointed

and also sad too

cause tonight is the night we promised before

lol

I dont know what am I saying

I dont know should laugh or cry

smile or sad

I might not be able to stay happy always

but I will try to do so

I always do

may be cause of the reason that we never met

I got very sad and disappointed

lol

what am I saying??

I really dont know what am I doing

I dont know what am I typing

lol

thats all

S.A.D

last night

we had a bbq party with your friends

before the bbq party

you promised something and you will do it right after the party

but

after the party

you just forgot all about it

I was so sad

I was damn disappointed

I hate that

I asked you two times the same question to make sure your decision

yea

you really forgot about it

I was really disappointed in you

when I reach home

I think all of what other people told me

then 

I decided to broke up with you

but

I cant make it

I really cant make it

my heart so pain

because you never try to safe our relationship

you were only blamming yourself

all over the way

I was sad

I was hurt

but i couldnt make it

may be I was just angry

but I really dont mean it

I am sorry about it

cause I found that

my heart already belongs to you

no matter how and why

I still couldnt live without you by now

thanks and sorry for every thing that I did

I will never ever try to leave you again

16/3/11

say hi to 16th of March

this morning

I woke up at around 0715am

as I slept around 2 last night

last night was a celebration for my brother's birthday

and we had a bbq celebration

whole of my body was damn oily

and I can smelt the smell of bbq even I finish my bath

LOL

this morning

I woke up so early

is to join a project

that is "visiting to meteorologi centre"

however

there was bored

because

I don't even know what are they talking about

except TSUNAMI

yea..

its TSUNAMI!!!

that happened few days ago at Japan

poor people

may GOD bless you all

after visiting I was damn tired and also hungry

LOL

but

we had fun there actually

am I going out tonight??

hope so...

I don't really wanna stay at home

reason??

as long as you come stay with me then you'll get it

I just wanna say that

I miss you...

miss you badly

but

seems like you are so busy

then 

never mind

its ok

I forgive whatever you do to me

just

sometimes

can you please think of me??

hope that can meet you tonight

really hope so..

say HI to my new blog

a very new me

to start a new blog

what cause me to start a new blog

its just because I have forgotten my previous account's password

I know that its sweat

but thats me

say HI again to everyone 

and hope that

I wont forget this password and will keep on updating

LOL

anyway

gonna say HI HI HI ^^